You Are Important: Prioritize Yourself

For too long, we have taught physicians that patients’ needs and well-being comes above our own AT ALL COSTS. But this is simply ridiculous. And the argument that we can take care of ourselves so that we are not too burnt out to take the best care of our patients continues to make our own well-being secondary to the needs of others. 

It is high time that we understood that the reason that we put our oxygen mask on first, and before we help others, is that WE ARE IMPORTANT… that we are the hero of our own story. And we need to take care of ourselves because we have worth - to ourselves, to our friends, to our families, and to our patients. 

As a working clinician, I understand that there are times when I will be tired or cranky or hungry. And in the case of an urgent event or emergency, prioritizing the needs of the patient comes with the job. But most days, when care is routine and the OR or IR or surgicenter procedure is not an emergency, it is ok to change the template to see one less patient in the afternoon in order to be able to get home on time. 

It is also ok to write B level notes because no one actually gives you an A for the world’s best patient note. We can write in phrases instead of sentences and we can type in front of a patient with less than 100% eye contact if that allows their treatment to be expedited and our notes to be done on the day that they are seen. 

So how do we get out from under years of being told that everyone is more important than we are. 

• Reframe your mindset: The most important first step is to understand that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish or contradictory to providing excellent patient care. In fact, a healthy, balanced, and compassionate physician (YOU) is much better equipped to deliver high-quality, empathetic care than someone who is burnt out or neglecting their own needs. 

Your thoughts and feelings matter.

What thoughts are keeping you from prioritizing yourself?

Are you worried about what your colleagues or boss will think?

Are you overwhelmed by what it would take to make thing better?

Look at your limiting beliefs and reframe them. 

• Set boundaries and manage expectations: Clearly communicate your boundaries and availability to patients and colleagues. Don't overcommit or take on more than you can handle. And importantly, if you are already overcommitted, Look At What You Can Cut. 

What are the nonessential nonurgent things that can be left behind?

Learn To Say NO to one more urgent visit today if you need to get out on time. And Manage Expectations around response times and availability, especially on weekends and when you are supposed to be off-shift or on vacation. 

This may require you to set up systems that recognize that your inbox needs a back-up and that leveraging the work to the right person often means that you are not the primary person checking labs or reading patients messages. 

• Practice self-care regularly: Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul.

If you are not doing this now, what can you start this week:

--- Exercise – this can be as simple as a walk or a few sit-ups 

---Meditation –10-20 minutes in the morning is great, but a microbreak with focused attention away from the task at hand can also be really useful

---Quality Time with loved ones – schedule this time and consider planning an activity that appeals to everyone (or at least to you if you have cranky teenagers)

---Pursuing Hobbies – puzzles, reading a book, flying a plane or anything that feeds your soul and allows you to relax

---Simply taking Breaks throughout the day to recharge – this can be especially useful 

---Schedule time to do nothing – by scheduling the time, you get the same dopamine hit from crossing this off the list a finishing any other task!

• Seek support and share the load: Don't try to shoulder the burden alone. 

In your work life, make sure to build a supportive network of colleagues, mentors, or counselors and coaches who can provide guidance and a listening ear. 

In your home life, this may be help around the house or a group of supportive neighbors who are happy to hear your frustrations and triumphs. 

Outsource things that you do not want to do

---At home this might mean that you need someone to clean your house, or a meal service or a landscaper. 

---At work, this might mean that you need a research assistant to pull articles and submit papers.

Or you might benefit (GREATLY in my case) from working with a virtual assistant to schedule your vacation and arrange your dogwalker or even to help submit a research paper if you do not have that help available elsewhere. 

Explore opportunities to share responsibilities or delegate tasks when possible. 

• Prioritize work-life integration: Actively pursue a balanced life outside of work. Make time for personal interests, relationships, and activities that bring you happiness and fulfillment beyond your professional role.

I recommend scheduling your week with both the work and the personal items that are critical and being prescriptive about how you use your time. 

Now, if you are on call, this may all be relative and flexible, but if you are not on call, see if you can estimate times to allow yourself to enjoy life inside and outside of work. 

I would also challenge you to cut some things that are not adding to your work or personal life. 

• Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, support and acceptance that you would offer to a good friend going through a difficult time. 

Please treat yourself with 

---Kindness

---Understanding

---Patience

Recognize that you are human, and it's okay to make mistakes or have limitations. In fact, recognize that you WILL make mistakes and that this is often the best way for you to learn.  So change the frame and expect to make mistakes and then work on how to kindly learn from them and pivot to the next approach. 

Cultivate a compassionate inner voice and challenge negative self-talk or criticism.

• Advocate for Systemic Changes: While individual self-care practices are important, it's also crucial to advocate for systemic changes that promote work-life “balance” and prioritize the well-being of healthcare professionals. 

These may include expectations for telehealth, or NO meetings outside normal business hours, or allowing for virtual attendance for all meetings.

You may want to consider having nurses answering all inbox messages with scripted responses and algorithms for commons scenarios. 

Consider having non-physician providers filling out all allowable sections of the EMR encounter in order to appropriately leverage the work and allow you to diagnose and treat while minimizing your administrative work. 

And consider including discussions and initiatives aimed at creating a more sustainable and supportive work environment.

1. Continuously Reassess and Adjust: Prioritizing yourself is an ongoing process.  It may take a while to find the best way to take care of yourself. If this is a new process for you, you will likely forget some of these things or find that you have to change them up, but that is perfect. 

2. Be flexible and adaptable, recognizing that your needs may change over time or in different circumstances.

3. I recommend that you fail quickly, reassess and adjust so that you can make positive changes as soon as possible.

4. If this feels too scary, just change one thing every day (or every week at the least) to work towards a better life every day.

5. And while ChatGPT might be ready to tell us that you should prioritize your well-being to optimize the quality of care you provide to your patients… I say no!

I would say:

---Prioritize yourself so that you can be happy. 

---Prioritize yourself so that you can live your best life.

---Prioritize yourself so that you can be a physician who chooses to take care of patients … or chooses to use your medical education in any way that serves you. 

If you are interested in creating a personalized plan to live your best life, click here to prioritize yourself and set up a FREE 30 minute discovery call.

I will also be discussing this on the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast, episode 6 which you can find on Spotify and Apple podcasts.