Are you a physician who's looking to build your career and be recognized nationally, but is having trouble getting on the program or getting your articles published? Are you having difficulty finding mentors and coaches to help you get ahead quickly? Well, don't spin your wheels or lose out on your personal life. This is the podcast for you. I'm Stacey Ishman, and I'm the host of the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast.
I'm a full professor who's built clinical research and administrative programs while mentoring and coaching young academic physicians from medical school through their first 10 years of practice. It was not long ago I was in the same boat as many of you, struggling to be known for my area of expertise, feeling like my contributions were lost in the shuffle and unsure how to advance my career. I spent a lot of time juggling tasks that didn't quite align with my goals or bring me any joy, and I missed out on a lot of precious moments with my family.
But I've had my aha moment, and now I'm all about channeling my energy into activities that truly propel me forward and bring me happiness. Please join me on the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast as we dive into all things career advancement, finding your niche, and working towards that elusive work-life integration. Hello, and welcome back to the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast.
Hello, and welcome back to the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast. I'm Stacey Ishman, and today I'm going to be talking to you about prioritizing yourself. If you look at almost anything in the media, including AI-generated information, the prevailing opinion is that it is okay for physicians to take care of themselves so that we can take better care of other people.
While there's a lot of validity to that, I really think we all have to remember that it's just as important to take care of ourselves, because we're important, regardless of the impact on patient care. And I also think it's not in our best interest to think that patients' needs always come before our own. In fact, I think this is kind of ridiculous.
Somehow in the midst of all the hoopla building us up to be able to take care of other people, we forgot to celebrate that we are amazing humans. We're people who are important in our own right. We're smart and motivated.
We contribute greatly to society, but that's not our primary value. We are people, and we are important, regardless of our jobs. And the argument that says we can't get too burnt out or else it's bad for patient care really kind of feels insulting to me, like insult to injury.
The underlying premise of this is that we're just saying our mental and physical health matters only enough so that we can take care of others, and not enough that we're prioritizing ourselves. So my goal today is to really talk about this. Now, for many years, I had great mental separation between my time at home and my time at work, and I really felt like I was burnout-proof.
But as things moved along, and my relationship with some of my leadership became more destructive, it really made me understand that I'd put almost all of my identity into my job. And over time, things took a turn, and I was isolated by leadership and told that I had no value. And while I was still very successful in many ways, it felt terrible.
We are capable people. We're not used to failing. I wasn't used to failing.
And on top of that, I felt like my chosen family, my medical colleagues, were no longer embracing me. And in the midst of all this was an inability to talk to others about the process, which added to isolation. With this in mind, the idea that I needed to worry about my mental health or my self-care in order to take care of others, who didn't even value me, was really kind of laughable and sometimes quite honestly felt insulting.
Now, I hope you have different situations and that you're addressing them as they come up. And there's a lot of different stressors out there that come up for physicians. They make us required to take time out for ourselves, for others, for family obligations, or a sick pet.
Or you may just want to simply sit down and do a puzzle. But as a working clinician, there are times when you're going to be cranky or hungry or tired. And unless there's some emergency, I recommend you take the opportunity to take care of yourself.
Whether it's just getting a snack or giving yourself a quick rest, it's okay to take care of you. And when there is an emergency, I have no doubt that we all understand that we default to putting the needs of our patients ahead of our own. But on most days, care's routine or the procedure is not emergent.
And it's okay to take a few minutes to take care of yourself. In fact, I highly recommend it. The other thing I really want to say is if you're in clinic trying to write the perfect note, you are never going to get an A+. This is true whether the patient looks at it, whether the insurance company looks at it, even if your boss looks at it. What they want is the key information to be available, to be able to bill at the appropriate level, and to have everything there that they need when they walk out, whether that's a prescription that they write for, well, you write for, or an order you create and sign.
So I recommend you stop putting all your energy into creating a Dickens version best of class note that would get you published in the New Yorker and just put something in there that would be good for the Cliff Notes. I know it's an old reference, but I don't trust AI to allow it to summarize my thoughts yet, although I know there's trialing going on. But I want to talk about some ways in order to prioritize yourself.
Number one is the topic I really have already been talking about, and that's to reframe your mindset. Remember that prioritizing your wellness is not selfish or contradictory to good patient care. You being a compassionate, balanced, healthy human is important for you to be you.
And yeah, there's data that you're not as good at being empathetic or enjoying your job or being as efficient if you're not taking care of yourself. But it's also important to remember that your thoughts and feelings matter. So I want you to take a look at your limiting beliefs and try and reframe them.
Do you think that anything but that A plus note will harm patient care? Are you feeling like something bad's going to happen if you don't write that last note today? Because unless these are related to emergency or urgent care, it's unlikely that that's the case. The second point I'm going to talk about is setting boundaries and managing expectations. say yes to almost everything. everything. And while this may be helpful and useful, you want to be seen as someone who's a team player and appreciates an opportunity. You also don't want to overcommit or take on things that don't fit your area of expertise or your niche unless there's a service component to it.
And so one of the most important things you can do if you're already feeling overcommitted is find what you can say no to. Look at what you can cut out and manage expectations about response times or availability. Let people know your notes might be done tomorrow or that the operative note is dictated but not reviewed and won't be until you have time set aside for it.
Number three is to manage self-care regularly. Make this non-negotiable. Whether it's setting aside time in the morning or giving yourself a few minutes when you know you urgently need it in the middle of the day, I really think you have to prioritize quiet time or meditation.
And absolutely regular exercise is critical, as is quality time with loved ones, whether it's your dog or your children or your friends. And like I mentioned, I personally get great satisfaction out of hobbies, including doing a puzzle. I really love it.
It turns my brain off and allows my mind to wander and think about some non-work items. I also enjoy a good no eye contact conversation with some of my teens. And every once in a while, it even pulls in one of my family members to give me a hand, although usually only when they can put the last piece in after I did the other 999.
I also recommend taking breaks throughout the day to charge or reboot. This can be as simple as taking 10 seconds to pay attention to your breathing and pull you out of a present tense situation, or a lunch break where you actually get to a minute to eat. I also recommend you schedule time to do nothing and enjoy a hobby or read a book.
And I really mean put these things on your calendar. We all know you get a dopamine hit from video games and scrolling and checking things off that to-do list, but they don't all have to be work related. If you schedule time to watch television for an hour and a half, and then when you're done, you check off that on the list, you get the same dopamine hit.
So schedule some free time and enjoy it. Number four is to seek support and share the load. If things are getting tough, please reach out to your colleagues or your family members or your dog walker, whoever it is you might need.
And if you need help around your house, you need help at work, find those resources or ask for help. In both situations, I highly recommend outsourcing the things you don't want to do. I personally don't like owning the outside of my house.
And while I used to enjoy gardening, I really don't like it anymore. I don't want to pick weeds and I definitely don't want to mow my lawn. So find somebody to do the things that don't make you happy, so you can spend your time doing things that are more meaningful to you.
If you love making dinner, make dinner. But if you loathe making dinner, maybe you get a kit or a chef or you go out to dinner. Number five is prioritizing work-life integration.
We've already talked about scheduling free time, but this can also include prioritizing your personal events on your calendar. At the very least, be sure to schedule both your work and personal obligations and put the things that are important right out in front. Making it to the soccer game or a Broadway show can make a world of difference for your point of view.
And it's also important to help set expectations with colleagues. This may also need to include other people. Is there an admin who helps schedule things or an OR scheduler who helps put things out? These people need to know what your priorities are, so that you're not getting frustrated with them and they're not getting frustrated with you.
Number six is practicing self-compassion. If you're not familiar with this concept, this is the idea of treating ourselves with the same compassion we would offer a friend or colleague in the same situation. This can be really hard sometimes, especially when you're worn down or not performing at your best.
And we know that no one can do it right all the time. There's going to be times where things seem overwhelming or it's just a hard day. And we know we all make mistakes despite our best efforts, but it's hard to give ourselves a break.
In fact, just recognizing we make mistakes every day has helped me with this. And if you heard the unedited version of this podcast, you'd hear a ton of missteps or imperfect thoughts that I had to repeat and revise. Now fundamental to self-compassion is three elements.
One is to treat yourself with kindness. Two is to understand we're all human and flawed and imperfect. And the third is patience and acceptance, some would even say mindfulness, and allowing us to shift from any negative self-talk to positive language towards ourselves.
Number seven is being an advocate for systematic change. I've yet to find a hospital department where there's not an opportunity to improve the system in order to improve work-life integration. This may manifest as conversations about reasonable RVU targets or templates in order to allow us and the clinic staff to leave at a reasonable hour.
It may mean prioritizing meeting times when people can make it or allowing for virtual attendance and recognizing that the system needs to be built for these things to happen. Now this might be nurses who help you answer your inbox messages so they can be returned in a timely manner and no one's scrambling after hours, or it might be scripted responses and algorithms for common questions that the staff can use to respond to patient messages or calls. Either way, conversations about leveraging the work to the right people will allow everyone to get out of work at a reasonable time and allow for better patient care.
The last one is to continuously reassess and adjust. Something that made sense for you to do three years ago may not fit in your goals anymore. It may be that the clinical site director job made sense when I was more clinical, but less now that I have research grants.
Or my family needs a change and I can't make an after-hour meeting anymore, or mornings are better. I know this list was a long one, so if you need to figure out how to start, I recommend you do something small but meaningful. It may be making and bringing your lunch, which you make sure you eat at lunchtime.
And if it feels scary to change things, change just one thing this week. I would challenge you to do something that makes your life better. I remember the best day I had, or at least a great one, was when I had to switch my garage from the one where I had to walk out in the rain and the snow to one that had a covered sidewalk.
It was a game changer and it wasn't a big deal. So try to find one thing this week that you can change for the better. I want to thank you for listening all the way to the end and encourage you to read my blog on the same topic at medicalmentorcoaching.com backslash blog.
I appreciate if you rate, review, and follow the Medical Mentor Coaching Podcast on your favorite app. Well, Apple and Spotify, since that's where I am. And if you're interested in talking or interested in giving me additional topics to talk to you about, please reach out at S. Ishman Coach on Instagram or message me on LinkedIn or email me at staceyishmancoach at gmail.com. I look forward to talking with you next week.
